44 MONTEREY COUNTY WEEKLY MARCH 19-25, 2026 www.montereycountynow.com FACE TO FACE For more than three decades Dr. Laura Berman has been known as a love and relationship expert, author of such bestselling books as Sex Magic, Quantum Love, Loving Sex and many more. She appeared on Oprah and had her own TV and radio shows. Then on Feb. 7, 2021, she experienced a parent’s worst nightmare: Her 16-year-old son Sammy died after ingesting a fentanyl-laced pill he purchased from a drug dealer on Snapchat. Berman, who had been so careful about limiting her children’s social media access, relaxed restrictions during the pandemic shutdown so they could socialize with friends, not realizing how dangerous the landscape had become. The morning she discovered Sammy’s body on his bedroom floor, she turned to her followers on social media to warn them in hopes of saving someone else’s child. From that point forward she shared her grief publicly and, in the process, built an entire community to help others in their own grief journeys. She offers workshops, courses and virtual meetups to subscribers. Her newest book, due out in October, is Crying Out Loud: A Path Through Grief Into a Life Reimagined. In it she shares how moving through grief can open a portal to transformation. Every year Berman leads the Love Mama Grief Retreat at the 1440 Multiversity campus in Scotts Valley, with support from the Hospice Giving Foundation in Monterey. That connection led to an invitation to Berman to speak at HGF’s annual Gratitude Luncheon on Thursday, March 26 in Pebble Beach. Weekly: You made a choice to share your grief publicly immediately after Sammy’s death. Berman: It wasn’t my intention. When my son died and I found out while the coroners were still there what had happened, I went running to them with a screenshot of the dealer, who had solicited my son, and they told me, “Sorry, there’s nothing we can do because Snapchat won’t help us.” I started going off the rails. I just became fixated on all the other kids that were going to die. And my husband said, why don’t you just post? I don’t even remember writing that post. Unbeknownst to me, it went viral. How did your own expression of grief help others? I had to start a Facebook support group called Parent Collective because thousands of parents were reaching out to me saying the same thing happened to them and they were in so much pain, and here I am, a therapist of 25 years, no stranger to grief in my own life—and certainly helping thousands of people through the most painful points in their life—but this was obviously bigger than anything else. I started realizing how bereft of understanding we are as a society about how to move through grief in a healthy way. We don’t know how to deal with it. Nobody knows how to do this, and I do and did. So I just started taking my community along for the ride. You talk about grief as a portal to transformation. What does that look like? Grief, as painful and horrific as it is, is an invitation as well. And if you’re willing to go into it and allow yourself to really feel the pain—with control; people think that if they allow themselves to feel the pain it will carry them away, there will be no bottom. That’s just our fear. But when you are willing to be with your grief, to honor it, to allow it to move through you, it will burn away everything that doesn’t matter. It will change you from the inside out. It really is transformative in beautiful ways. You talk about the importance of rituals to honor someone we lost. What rituals do you do to honor Sammy? I have so many. I have a little altar with his photo and little crystals. I light candles for him. I talk to him every day. What can we do to help someone we know who is grieving? Show up. Don’t say, “Let me know if I can help.” We don’t even know what we need. Instead, say, “I’m coming over to walk your dog.” “I’m going to mow your lawn.” Offer tangible things. And the best thing you can do for a griever, one of the most powerful things you can do, is to just be willing to be with them in their pain, without needing to fix it. The Gratitude Luncheon takes place from 11:30am-2pm Thursday, March 26 at the Fairway One Meeting Facility at The Lodge, 1700 17 Mile Drive, Pebble Beach. Reservation required; by donation. Contact Erik Lua, HGF director of development, at elua@hospicegiving.org or (831) 333-9023. Good Grief Dr. Laura Berman, noted sex therapist, turns her attention to grief after experiencing her own tragedy. By Pam Marino After the death of her son Sammy, Dr. Laura Berman saw a need for others and created an online support community to promote healing. “We’re taught to repress grief. We’re supposed to go back to work after three days of bereavement leave,” she says. LISA WHITMORE 831.200.9232 PO Box 683 Monterey, CA 93942 www.gocatrescue.org Canine Kitty? Do you wish cats were more like dogs? Kiki may be your guy! This lonely 12-year-old short hair is 1) easy going, 2) friendly, and 3) truly wants to be loved. Aloof? Not Kiki! He lights up when he gets attention and companionship, just like a doggo. However, he doesn’t lick people or slobber. What’s not to love?! Will you be Kiki’s BFF & give him a Second Chance at a New Beginning? Scan our QR code for more info. Would you like to sponsor our next ad? Please call us at 831-200-9232 or email info@gocatrescue.org
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