24 THE BEST OF MONTEREY BAY ® WEDDING GUIDE 2025-2026 DINNER Planning a wedding is a process. Schedule a venue, hire a photographer, agree on an invitation list, book a block of hotel rooms—even with the help of a wedding planner the tasks tend to be mundane. But there is one episode leading up to the wedding that is meant to be enjoyable: the rehearsal dinner. The gathering stands apart for many reasons, not the least of which is its adaptability. It can be as formal as lobster and Champagne or as casual as pizza and beer. The group can sit down for dinner, but lunch or brunch are also options. In fact, couples need not even host a setting at all. According to wedding planner Kathee McFarland of Carmel Weddings, many choose simply to take their friends and family out to dinner. “It’s great for families to get together and meet each other,” she says. “But nowadays people tend to get together more during the courtship.” Rehearsal dinners originally served as a way to introduce the two families and treat the wedding party to a meal after walking through the next day’s ceremony. At least, that’s how the tradition developed. No one knows when the first rehearsal dinner took place or who threw the party. Indeed there is no agreement on why the meal became part of the wedding ritual. Some believe gatherings date back to Medieval times, others indicate that rehearsal dinners are an American creation, dating only as far back as the late 1800s. There is some speculation that such dinners started to become common as towns expanded, friends and families moved to distant places and the tidy ceremonies officiated by the reverend of a small church grew in extravagance. That a wedding in Pennsylvania might include a groomsman from Missouri or a bridesmaid arriving from Oregon was not the norm a century ago. Over time, expectations were added. Rehearsal dinners became the occasion for the guests to offer toasts, the best man and maid of honor to give speeches and for the bride and groom to thank the wedding party. Yet it never took on a solemn aspect. The rehearsal dinner, like the reception, was a relaxed, fun gathering framing the wedding itself. Fun Dining The rehearsal dinner offers an opportunity to relax and enjoy a moment with friends and family. By Dave Faries COURTESY OF STOKES ADOBE COURTESY OF STOKES ADOBE COURTESY OF STOKES ADOBE
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