36 MONTEREY COUNTY WEEKLY FEBRUARY 8-14, 2024 www.montereycountyweekly.com ARIES (March 21-April 19): In honor of the Valentine season, and in accordance with astrological omens, I offer you a love letter from an unpublished novel by an Aries friend. Consider saying something similar to a person who would be thrilled to hear it. Here it is. “We will seize the sexiest joy we can conjure. We will turn each other into boisterous deities in quest of liberation from all unnecessary limitations. We will tenderly shock each other with mysterious epiphanies and rivers of bliss. ‘Wild’ will be too mild a word for the awakenings we provoke in each other’s futures.” TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “The greater the fool, the better the dancer.” Composer Theodore Hook said that. Poet Edwin Denby agreed. He said, “There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good.” Choreographer Martha Graham added, “Dance is the hidden language of the soul of the body.” I bring these thoughts to your attention because the coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to get freer, more sensuous and unconstrained. Dancing your inhibitions into oblivion will be an excellent way to pursue these goals. So will doing everything with a dancer’s abandon, including love-making. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Years ago, Salon.com asked various critics to name the most preposterous sex scene to appear in a recently published novel. I was honored that one of the vignettes selected was from my book The Televisionary Oracle. As I read the critic’s review of my wild, funny and crazy erotic story, I realized he was a pedantic macho prude who thought sex isn’t sex unless it’s dead serious and joylessly intense. The characters of mine he regarded as preposterous were in fact playing, laughing and having goofy fun. In the spirit of my novel’s kooky lovers and in accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to pursue uproarious amusement while enjoying the arts of intimacy—both in and out of bed. (PS: Playwright Rose Franken said, “Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.”) CANCER (June 21-July 22): A psychic told me that in one of my past lives, I was Numa Pompilius, the second king of Rome. It’s an intriguing theory that could help explain why my horoscopes are popular in Italy. What about you, my fellow Cancerian? Is there an aspect of your reincarnational history that aids your current destiny? Or are there past events in your current life that are becoming more influential? The coming weeks will be a good time to meditate on these possibilities. While you ruminate on your history, check in with the spirits of your ancestors and departed allies to see if they have any inspirational messages for you. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Kevin Kelly wrote the book Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I’d Known Earlier. There he observes, “Listening well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love, keep asking them ‘Is there more?’ until there is no more.” Dear Leo, this is excellent advice for you in the coming weeks. I urge you to specialize in gathering the deep revelations of those you care for. Opening yourself to them in unprecedented ways will boost your soul power and enrich your wisdom. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Imagine you are walking on a hill at night. You are headed to meet a person you adore, who awaits you with champagne and chocolate. The weather is balmy. The moon is full. You are singing songs you both love, announcing your arrival. The songs tell stories about how much you two love to yearn for each other and how much you love quenching your yearning. When you arrive, dear Virgo, what will you tell your beloved to make them feel supremely understood and appreciated? LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Has your approach to togetherness become infused with habit or numbness? When was the last time you got extravagant for the sake of love? Has it been a while since you tried a daring romantic move? I bring these questions to your attention, Libra, because now is an excellent time to rev up your imagination as you upgrade intimacy, companionship and collaboration. I hope you authorize your fantasy life to be unruly and experimental. Spur yourself to dream up departures from routine. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Author W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) testified, “My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world with surprise and horror.” Is that true about you, Scorpio? Even if it is, I’m guessing the horrifying aspects will be nonexistent in the coming weeks. There may be surprises, yes. There may be entertaining interludes. But from what I can tell, everything will at least be educational and colorful. What are your most exotic erotic fantasies? Now is a good time to ask a willing partner to explore them with grace and good humor. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The Valentine season is looming, and many of us are receptive to advice about togetherness. I’ll offer some principles that I believe are essential to you Sagittarians as you nourish ALL your close relationships, including romantic bonds. They are from novelist Graham Joyce. He wrote, “Two people in love don’t make a hive mind. Neither should they want to be a hive mind, to think the same, to know the same. It’s about being separate and still loving each other, being distinct from each other. One is the violin string, one is the bow.” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Lately, I have been intoxicated a lot. Not because I’ve ingested drugs and alcohol. I’ve felt wildly free and euphoric because life has been dismantling some of my fears. Once it happened when my psychotherapist spoke just the right words at a pivotal moment in our session. Another time, I came upon a large hare while strolling in the woods and had an epiphany about how to heal a trauma in my past. In another, I dreamed of a priestess doing a banishing ritual to exorcize my abandonment fears. There were three other similar events,. I bring this to your attention because I suspect you may soon also get intoxicated through the loss of fears. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Reading through the annals of famous authors’ quotes about love, I’m horrified by the relentlessness of their sour assessments. “Love is merely a madness,” wrote Shakespeare. “Whoever is not jealous is not in love,” said St. Augustine. “General incivility is the very essence of love,” declared Jane Austen. “It is impossible to love and be wise,” moaned Francis Bacon. I am allergic to all that dour noise! Personally, I have been entangled in a lot of romantic love during my time on Earth, and most of it has been interesting, educational and therapeutic. I am deeply grateful for ALL of it, even the heartbreaks. Any wisdom I have developed owes a great debt to my lovers. What about you, Aquarius? I suspect the coming months will give you ample reasons to embrace my attitudes. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Have you discovered all there is to know about your sexual feelings and proclivities? Have you come to a complete understanding of what turns you on and how you might express it? I hope your answer to those questions is “no.” In my view, all of us should keep evolving our relationship with eros. There is always more to discover about the mysteries of our desires and more to learn about what excites us. The coming days will be an excellent time for you to enjoy this research. FREEWILLASTROLOGY In addition to this column, Rob Brezsny offers EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. To buy access, go to www.RealAstrology.com. Audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. 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