32 MONTEREY COUNTY WEEKLY December 21-27, 2023 www.montereycountyweekly.com Lax Something By Frank Salcido Phone rings. “Good morning, Deluxe Drug Store. How can I help you?” “Good morning. I’m trying to find a really good laxative for my son. We’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to work. What do you recommend?” “Sure, how old is he?” “Six.” “And nothing seems to work?” “Nothing.” “I’ll check with our pharmacist. One moment please.” “Well, our pharmacist’s out to lunch, but let me think. Hmm—I suggest giving him a cigarette and a cup of black coffee, and that should do the trick. Anything else I can help you with?” A huff of disgust, then click. Reading Between the Lies By Scotty Cornfield They had both been married multiple times, though not to each other. The timing had never been right for them. Instead, they told countless lies to their respective partners, keeping their sporadic affair going throughout the decades. He stood next to her hospital bed, taking in her cancer-ravaged body. “You don’t look so bad,” he lied. She barely lifted her bruised arm. “Hope not. I feel pretty good,” she returned the fib. “When they let you out of here, we should…” He turned away as his voice cracked. “Yeah,” she said softly. “That sounds nice.” Her eyelids fluttered. Alarms sounded. Hair Day By Sue Braum Hair is identity. Silver fox. Blonde bombshell. Long-haired hippie. The sun filtered through the fuzzy silhouette of the shuttle driver’s mane made her think “salt and pepper.” If he was a dog, he’d be brindle. She had meticulously dyed each grey out of existence to preserve the ginger locks she was known for—until six months ago. “Next stop: Parkview Oncology,” he announced as she rubbed her hand across the newest bald patch. War Story By R.C. Roach The baby screamed as he dug through the rubble. She dug as frantically as him, and both of their hands were dirty and bloody while they threw pieces of concrete away from the bombed building that used to be their home. Now louder, baby’s wails brought tears to both of their eyes, the rancid smoke and heavy dust wafting in the stale air, a feeling of despair amongst the grief when there were no longer any cries, just the sound of more bombs in another neighborhood from above. Valiant By Shawn Leonard The boys gathered on the bluff. The Plymouth Valiant idled roughly. Its “V” hood ornament pointed to the sea. Billy smiled at his friends. He was the MAN today. He would send the car flying. He jammed the accelerator with a stick and dropped the tranny into gear. Spinning tires jolted the Valiant forward. Billy stumbled out the driver’s side. The door’s latch pin snagged his belt loop, dragging his folded body. The engine and the boy screamed together. It was a family car. It hated being alone. So it took Billy over the cliff with it, to the ocean below. Fortune 500 By Wanda Sue Parrott Making his fortune was Kiterai Zygniac’s goal. After arriving at Ellis Island by boat, the young Czechoslovakian immigrant shined bankers’ shoes in Manhattan, opening a checking account with his first 101-Word Short Story Contest 2023 He’s our neighborhood narcoleptic kleptomaniac. It was a bit odd because Chet didn’t seem like the “cappuccino” type. It’s because liberals drink a lot of lattes. Uff Da Candles in Minnesota sells lutefisk scented candles that reviewers say smell like feces. PRESENTED BY
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