30 MONTEREY COUNTY WEEKLY december 21-27, 2023 www.montereycountyweekly.com ing cyclist split the two, making the dog jump sideways. Tom called out to the speeding young man “slow down.” The biker shouted back, “Shut up, you fucking old geezer”—something Tom did not appreciate. Tom transformed, pulled off his jacket to reveal his bright “F-ing Old Geezer and Packing” T-shirt. Drawing his fictional antique Colt .45 revolver, he placed some imaginary lead in each tire. Don’t mess with a pacifist marksman, punk. Honesty Should Count For Something By Scotty Cornfield Kenneth sat at his assigned table in the middle of the gym. He readjusted his name tag again and waited as the next speed-date candidate strode up to him. She’s done this before. Way too cocky. She sat across from him. Locked in on his name tag. She thrust out her hand. “Maggie May. What do you do for fun, Kenneth?” He leaned in close. Whispered, “I break into houses and steal ladies underwear.” Maggie laughed loud enough to turn heads. “Nice,” she said. “Finally, an original opening line.” Kenneth just nodded. Can’t say I didn’t warn her, he thought. Mind Powers By Jaime Guzman Sally had been staring directly at the empty plate for the last three hours when her sister Amanda finally decided to ask. “What’cha doing?” “Quiet, I’m focusing.” “On?” Amanda tilted her head at the table set. “Trying to move this plate without touching it. Telekinesis. I’m finally seeing a green circle around the plate.” Amanda momentarily hoped to see the laws of physics be broken but after ten seconds realized nothing was happening. “I can do this” Sally glared at the plate. Amanda got tired of the foolishness and put the plate back in the cabinet. “I did it!” Sally exclaimed. Open Door Policy By Harrison Borchard I met a girl at my friend’s party and took her home. But back at my place, she wouldn’t come in. “What’s wrong?” “Aren’t you going to invite me?” “Haha why? You can’t just come in?” Weird! Haha. “That’s not polite. My Granny said so.” “Okay...” Red flag much! Ha ha. “So are you going to invite me in, or what?” “Heh, I dunno now…” “Ugh!” Storming off. I couldn’t explain… My friend dies a week later. Walking around the casket, another friend moves our friend’s head, revealing two puncture marks on his neck. “Man, that guy’d just let anybody in…” Fable By Donnolo Beren A porcupine, a skunk, and a rattlesnake were arguing about their comparative fearsomeness. “I’m so prickly that nobody touches me,” said the porcupine. “Nobody wants to even come near me because of my smell,” replied the skunk. “I have you both beat,” said the rattlesnake. “My bite is so deadly that the mere sound of my rattle frightens everyone away.” A farmer carrying a hunting rifle happened upon the bickering animals. He shouted “Vermin!” and fired his weapon once, blowing off the snake’s head. Moral: Stinkers and pricks are unpopular, but the worst is having a really poisonous reputation. Fishers Boat By Ezri Koue “Why is there less food?” “The boats eat it all, little orca.” “What is that thing by the surface?” “That is a boat, little orca.” “Are they the ones who eat all the food?” “Yes, little orca.” “We must stop it!” “No, little orca.” “Why?” “They will kill you, little orca.” - “Why is our pod so small?” “There is not enough food, little orca.” - “Look, I found food!…Where has everyone gone?” At The Stoplight By Susan Reed Four cars at a stoplight. Sitting opposite and perpendicular to each other, for the seconds it takes the light to change. A young girl sits in her car watching a minivan full of young kids with amusement. An old man looks left and admires a new Prius. A young man gazes right amazed at the old truck is still running. A mother absently watches a young girl sitting all alone in her car. They may never have met and may never meet again, but in those seconds, their lives intersect and they share that time and place forever. The light changes. A Descent Story By Lily Yuen What are you? Um, human? No, where are you from? Um, San Francisco? No, where are you really from? Like, what country are you from? Like I said, I was born in San Francisco. I mean what nationality are you? I’m American. Sheesh, where are your ancestors from? Oh, because I’m not white? Why you giving me a hard time? I’m just curious if you’re from China, Japan or Korea. To begin with, I’m not “from” any of those countries, because I was born here in the United States. What you really want to know is my ethnicity. I am Chinese. The Farm By Patrick Cream The “farm,” as it was often called, was a fortress: ten-foot razor wire with guard towers spaced no more than 100 yards apart surrounding the perimeter. Phil sat on the hood of his truck and mused with Cal as they unloaded the fencing material. Next to them, a cohort of well-armed security readied themselves with body armor. “The farm,” he said sarcastically. “Heh wasn’t long ago this was just that, a farm. Fixing a fence didn’t require a special forces team.” As he lit a cigarette Cal looked up and said, “Course the sheep weren’t half human back then.” Jeopardy By Miriam Mack-Piccone She opens the door foolishly wide to receive her package. How amusing for that delivery person. Silvia, plays herself a milquetoast professor, on weekdays. But now, she can’t feel a draft where her clothing is missing. I suppose those yapping giblets distract from her half-open kimono-thingy barely covering her youknow-what’s. Oh, shnoodles, she’s caught my eye. We wave to each other like dear old friends. I could give a snicker-padoodle what’s in her package. With a pasted smile smacking my gleaming new dentures, I gently close the curtain. Jeopardy is about to begin. Re-reading Books By Peter Mehren It’s pointless to berate, 60 years later, the high-school English and History teachers who scorned my interpretations of books, poems, facts. Even though I was in Advanced Placement classes, I was inexperienced and not, as one female classmate said scornfully, “worldly.” Now, having loved and lost and attended memorials, having lived in other countries and heard their accounts of events, I now “understand” what I was too young, too egocentric, then, to comprehend. And so, reading at my leisure, now, a book assigned back then, I get what the author was conveying. But I can’t take that quiz again. 101-Word Short Story Contest 2023 The sand was the color of hope drained from a smile. The future for the scrambled egg was within reach Guess a cannibal who makes gloves out of human skin is A OK. He folded his arms and looked on as the man urinated on the tombstone bearing his former name.
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